I got to wondering the other day, if I could have one superhero attribute, what would it be?
I went through all of the usual suspects one by one, but discarded each of them in turn: exoskeleton – nah, might increase my dress size; flight – not so sure about the whole heights thing; invisibility – what’s the point of a superpower that nobody can see; superstrength – sure, then all of my frends will expect me to help them move; x-ray vision – frankly, there’s a whole lot of stuff about people that I just DON’T want to see.
Then I realized there was one totally cool, absolutely awsome, superhuman power that would never fail me: perfect hair.
Almost all of the best superheroines have long flowing tresses that, no matter what the conflict – extraterrestrials, mad doctors with poison that will end civilization as we know it, multi-limbed bomb-toting megalomaniacs or, as shown above, strangulation by the undead – the hair not only doesn’t move, it often remains a full cascade of follicle perfection that ripples and tumbles, sometimes sweeping out both sideways and upwards.
And only comic book women are able to pull off this amazing feat. While I’ve been writing this, my husband has had the 1971 Western “Red Sun” with Charles Bronson and Ursula Andress (2 Desperados … 1 Hellcat … and a Samurai … the greatest fighting force the West has ever known!) on television. While leading lady Andress has managed to keep her tresses looking better than yours or mine would after being in a bordello, riding the plains, and being attacked and nearly killed by Indians, by the end it’s looking pretty ratty. While she is a pretty super Bond girl, she isn’t a superheroine. She is, after all, like the rest of us, merely mortal.